Why Christmas songs suck so much

Today while listening to that reprehensible piece of tripe "Jingle Bell Rock" for probably the 300th time in my life, it finally occurred to me why modern Christmas songs suck so much. Yes, it is because they are overplayed. But to put the matter more accurately, I believe it is because they are for the most part musically mediocre and pedestrian, yet they are played as much as the truly great songs that have been written in the past decades.

Think about it. Of the great songwriters, how many have written Christmas songs that are considered among their best compositions?  Hm... Irving Berlin's "White Christmas".  John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)".  Hm...  That's it, I'm tapped. There may be others but I can't think of any. The rest of these songs are the work of hacks, or good songwriters doing throwaway work (e.g. what do you think Springsteen really thinks of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"?)

And yet these songs are played everywhere we go for a month, and we hear them more than our personal favorites.  Have you ever thought about how many times you've listened to one of your favorite songs?  For example, I have probably listened to "Strawberry Fields Forever" about 500 times total, and "Paranoid Android" about 300.

Meanwhile, I stand by my "Jingle Bell Rock" estimate of 300, so I have been forced to listen to that piece of crap as many times as "Paranoid Android". It's not right.

Why do stores, radio stations, etc. play these songs so much? I guess it is to acknowledge the season. I suggest to them that they play a steady drone of a lovely woman's voice sprechstimme' ing: "Holiday Season! Holiday Season! Holiday Season! Holiday Season! " etc. At least that would be much easier to phase into the background than, say, "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" (which, by the way, is the same melody as "Jingle Bell Rock"; think about it).

Time to think about vegetarianism again

I was a vegetarian for a couple years. I fell off the wagon gradually, first dabbling in shrimp, reasoning that they were little more than sea-based bugs. Then I allowed myself fish from time to time, since they were barely conscious really. Then an occasional chicken wing, because that was the one type of meat that I kept dreaming about. I finally finished falling down the slippery slope about half a year ago, because I was granting myself so many meat allowances that I was afraid of being a hypocrite.

On Saturday I began slipping back toward vegetarianism....

That was the day we officially celebrated Thanksgiving this year. On Friday I went to our local Market Basket to buy the turkey. All they had left were ten GIANT turkeys, the smallest of which weighed in at 21 lbs.  I could easily have seatbelted that bird in my car!

I had two choices of brand, Market Basket or Shady Hill Farm.  I chose the latter because it seemed to promise better taste. I based this on nothing but the name. I am ashamed to admit that I was so easily fooled by basic advertising!

The next day, as I was preparing the turkey, I finally read the label. This wholesome-sounding Shady Hill Farm turkey was produced by:

CARGILL MEAT SOLUTIONS, INC.

Aaaaiiieeeeee!!!!! Cargill, of course, is the gigantic industrial food producer (yearly revenue: $120 BILLION) that is responsible for a quarter of all U.S. meat!  Who would have thought that they could make their name sound even more evil by the appending of that grotesque word "Solutions"?

Since the 90s software companies have been adding "Solutions" to their name to sound more respectable, or more comprehensive in their product offerings. I have always cringed in embarrassment when I see such company names, feeling for my fellow software workers who have to say they work at Weenysoft Solutions, e.g.

But what the fuck is a "Meat Solution"? What is the problem it is meant to solve? I imagine the problem is meat hunger, and the solution is a smorgasbord of meats with enough variety to adapt to your slightest whim. This is the dream of American meat-eaters that Cargill fulfills.