Time to think about vegetarianism again

I was a vegetarian for a couple years. I fell off the wagon gradually, first dabbling in shrimp, reasoning that they were little more than sea-based bugs. Then I allowed myself fish from time to time, since they were barely conscious really. Then an occasional chicken wing, because that was the one type of meat that I kept dreaming about. I finally finished falling down the slippery slope about half a year ago, because I was granting myself so many meat allowances that I was afraid of being a hypocrite.

On Saturday I began slipping back toward vegetarianism....

That was the day we officially celebrated Thanksgiving this year. On Friday I went to our local Market Basket to buy the turkey. All they had left were ten GIANT turkeys, the smallest of which weighed in at 21 lbs.  I could easily have seatbelted that bird in my car!

I had two choices of brand, Market Basket or Shady Hill Farm.  I chose the latter because it seemed to promise better taste. I based this on nothing but the name. I am ashamed to admit that I was so easily fooled by basic advertising!

The next day, as I was preparing the turkey, I finally read the label. This wholesome-sounding Shady Hill Farm turkey was produced by:

CARGILL MEAT SOLUTIONS, INC.

Aaaaiiieeeeee!!!!! Cargill, of course, is the gigantic industrial food producer (yearly revenue: $120 BILLION) that is responsible for a quarter of all U.S. meat!  Who would have thought that they could make their name sound even more evil by the appending of that grotesque word "Solutions"?

Since the 90s software companies have been adding "Solutions" to their name to sound more respectable, or more comprehensive in their product offerings. I have always cringed in embarrassment when I see such company names, feeling for my fellow software workers who have to say they work at Weenysoft Solutions, e.g.

But what the fuck is a "Meat Solution"? What is the problem it is meant to solve? I imagine the problem is meat hunger, and the solution is a smorgasbord of meats with enough variety to adapt to your slightest whim. This is the dream of American meat-eaters that Cargill fulfills.